Try not

Do or do not.  There is no try.

Yoda

I was having a discussion with a friend this morning about gratitude.  I explained that I used to think of gratitude as a feeling- something that just came over me.  Now, that’s great when everything is easy-peasy mac ‘n cheesy, but then gratitude is something that happens to me.  Then it’s fleeting, and determined by life circumstances, and sometimes life sucks.  I thought I had to wait for gratitude to happen, or to try to be grateful.

I now recognize that gratitude, like literally every other thing in my life- love, faith, sobriety, yoga (jk.  I only talk about doing yoga.  I just have the pants.) that I hold sacred, is a practice.  I must practice gratitude every single day- build up that muscle memory, so that when life kicks me square in the teeth my gratitude is still there.  I have to focus on gratitude, I have to set the intention, yes, but then I have to DO IT.

I remember fb messaging a friend about five years ago and saying that I was going to try and stop drinking.  Of course, I picked a friend who lives in Florida, who I wouldn’t run across in the wine section of Trader Joes- but even so, I think I actually meant it.  I think I did try.  I tried all the way up until 18 months ago when I stopped drinking.  I stopped trying the same day I stopped drinking.

Last year, I told several people I was going to try to write a book.  And I did.  I did try.  And here I sit a year later, not having written a book.

There’s a saying in recovery circles- pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.  DOING is pain, TRYING is suffering.

Listen, you can either try to stop drinking or you can stop drinking.  You can either try to write a book or you can WRITE A DAMNED BOOK.

Whatever that thing is for you, you can try to do it or you can do it.  It is as simple and hard as that.

I’d expound more on this but I’m working on Chapter Two.

Love you so.

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